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Tech Geriatrix http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix Before YOU were invented! Wed, 12 Dec 2012 08:45:44 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.4.10 The inevitable Furby toy review http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/the-inevitable-furby-toy-review/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/the-inevitable-furby-toy-review/#respond Wed, 12 Dec 2012 08:45:44 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=463 This is about one of those lovely Furby toys… but from the older generation, in the late ’90s. And it’s not the proper, big Furby that has “a mind of its own,” but a keychain version. Of course, the one with two shades of purple was chosen, as it’s probably the most goth one, maybe […]

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This is about one of those lovely Furby toys… but from the older generation, in the late ’90s. And it’s not the proper, big Furby that has “a mind of its own,” but a keychain version. Of course, the one with two shades of purple was chosen, as it’s probably the most goth one, maybe except if there was a fully black one.


What he forgot to say in the video is that you can use it to hold the following items: a hat, a horseshoe, a bathroom sink, a leviathan ship, a duck, a set of bowling pins, a manual drill, or a cow.

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Tablet, please! http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/tablet-please/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/tablet-please/#respond Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:09:51 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=374 …thank you. After having enough “touch”, I will satisfyingly declare it “consumed”… I’m a consumer after all, aren’t I? Well, I didn’t really order a tablet, if that’s what you expected… I’m just fantasizing about a reason to get one. And I just can’t find any, I guess I’d just have one if I was […]

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…thank you.

After having enough “touch”, I will satisfyingly declare it “consumed”… I’m a consumer after all, aren’t I?

Well, I didn’t really order a tablet, if that’s what you expected… I’m just fantasizing about a reason to get one. And I just can’t find any, I guess I’d just have one if I was extremely bored and I would just get anything that can stimulate my attention and curiosity. For a while… In fact, I did have a short experience with some friend’s iPad. It was flashy, it was a new experience, but it did not last long. After a short while I was already looking for another toy.

It is true in fact that swiping your finger over a shiny oleophobic surface is something new. And to make it a complete, uniform experience, the stuff on the screen follows your finger very closely. It gives you the safety that the device is doing exactly what you want it to do. Touching is basic, it’s simple, it doesn’t even click, it’s just a simple flow of actions. Touch, swipe, instant response. The device agrees with you all the time.

Well, going along with the gag, you will find that it agrees with you MOST of the time. After you find that connection which keeps you and your device going together, in a perfect tandem, you will find out that the tablet itself has some needs too. It needs more content, you get used to the existing content and then you want more of it. Where from? The Marketstore, of course. The Marketstore will save you when you get bored with the tablet. And life in general.

Also, I think that the guy that invented the tablet hates buttons. Really, the maximum number of visible buttons that I ever saw on any relevant tablet is one. ONE! Well, there were also other buttons somewhere around it, but they were small, and on the side, hidden from human sight, like some dark embarassing secret. Some other manufacturers decided that the buttons were so embarassing and outrageous that they replaced them with “touch keys”. Somewhat like a cheaper alternative to a slightly larger touchscreen, but that’s okay…

OK, so what can the tablet do? Or rather, what can you do with the tablet? Well… web surfing, viewing documents (and finger scrolling them), viewing your pictures (optional cats included), or watching videos. Basic stuff, that everybody needs. And which can be also accomplished by a laptop. But the laptop is way bigger than a tablet, it’s no good…

I remember that someone wrote in an article somewhere that the tablet is the “post PC device”. I was kind of shocked actually, I could not relate the tablet to the PC in terms of capabilities. Or find any common purpose. Now look, I liked the tablet gag, but until the “post PC” philosophy. It was comforting to watch just how many months my friends actually use their tablets, before getting busy looking for another one. Yeah, in about 2 months they were looking for another toy. But the “post PC” classification wiped the smile off my face…

I will not compare the tablet to the PC, it’s stupid. I know, you pretentious, unsatisfied, bored tech geeks, the PC has a drawback: it’s big, and potentially noisy (it can be fixed, actually…). You can find many shortcomings to the PC if you really want to emphasize the shininess of the tablet. The good parts of the PC? Well, it’s a computing powerhouse, compared to the tablet. It has a big monitor, there is room for all kinds of stuff on it, you can play games, “create content”, you got lots of storage, you can find a bunch of “apps”, you don’t have to worry about the battery, you don’t have to hold it in your hand until it falls off, you don’t need to withstand the heat of the tablet under heavy usage, or you can easily expand its hardware capabilities. What about the features of the tablet? Well… it follows your finger, in a really cool way!

The only relevant comparison is with the notebook computer, it’s the closest competitor. It’s about the same size, somewhat heavier, but you need a bag for both, since they won’t fit into a pocket. For the same price, you can get a pretty good laptop computer, with a reasonable keyboard and a way bigger screen. You won’t feel clamped by the limited capabilities of the tablet. Yeah, I’m talking about the limited storage, limited computing power, limited heat tolerance or limited application interaction (read “small screen”). Plus, you can’t rest the tablet onto your lap, the screen will get flat horizontal and in consequence, your head will also have to get flat horizontal in order to see anything on the magic portal to the “app world”! With a laptop, you can actually rest it on a table and bend the screen towards your eyes, so that you can watch it properly and also be able to operate the keyboard, which will be “flat horizontal”. Your head will be held at a natural angle, and your hands too. Try that with a tablet, try leaning it at the same angle as the laptop screen, and see how much time you will be able to keep your arms straight… Small things which you will inevitably discover as annoying tidbits of poor taste, but only after the “touch” hysteria cools down and the real usability of tablet comes to the surface.

One who buys a tablet is a “flash buyer” (with a loose pocket I have to admit), the target buyer will give up to it at the first sight! It’s an attractive toy… And after you buy it, you will also have to discover that you have to keep “flash buying” stuff in order to keep you (and the tablet…) happy.

I read on some website that a feature of the tablet would be “content creation”. Like what, abstract finger paintings and advanced cat photos? Cool!

Now don’t get me wrong, I think the tablet is a cool toy, especially for people who have never touched one before. But that’s what it is, a TOY! It’s not a “post PC” device and it’s not meant for “content creation”, it’s for spending some time, for enjoying the fluid touch interface. And you can do that under various pretexts: browsing the Web, reading books, newspapers, or my rants, playing “Angry Birds” (required feature, don’t buy a tablet if it doesn’t support “Angry Birds”!) and so on. But otherwise, it’s very hard for me to take it seriously. It’s like playing with rubber balls, they bounce in an absolutely cool and relentless way, but really, you achieve nothing by becoming good at it!

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Politics and tech http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/politics-tech/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/politics-tech/#respond Sun, 01 Jul 2012 14:21:59 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=358 What’s the link, some might ask? Bear with me for a while. I’m gonna tell you a story and you’ll see what the connection is. The story is about a political party. They managed to win the elections and became the main party to govern a certain country. The name of the country doesn’t matter, […]

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What’s the link, some might ask? Bear with me for a while. I’m gonna tell you a story and you’ll see what the connection is.

The story is about a political party. They managed to win the elections and became the main party to govern a certain country. The name of the country doesn’t matter, neither does the party’s name. They governed pretty well, the liberal-minded people would say. They were catastrophic, the socialist-minded people would say.
The president of the party became prime-minister. Previously, he had served as the mayor of an important city. Shortly before winning the general elections and becoming the prime-minister, he had secured a second term as mayor of that city.

Now, let’s get things straight: I call socialists the people who make taking care of the more unfortunate segment of the population as their goal. I call liberals the ones who think the system should work, the economy should prosper, and the unfortunate will automatically do better, with as little direct intervention as possible.
Making the economy work is what these guys tried to do. But this usually implies being harsh on at least some bits of the population, if not all of it. So, the government became increasingly widely unpopular and was eventually replaced by a socialist one.
The former prime-minister ran for office in his home city again. Having become unpopular, his party lost the various mayor seats around the country. With the notable exception of this guy. The former mayor turned prime-minister had won his mayor seat back.

Of course, this happened in the vortex-like climate of the media worshiping the popular topics. What other topics could possibly be popular, other than a semi-chaotic cacophony of voices yelling “The formerly governing party is evil! Aaaaaargh!” The vortex was also fueled by the socialists who were constantly pointing fingers at the unpopular reforms undertaken by the former government.

So, when this guy won the elections, the almighty media was gasping for air. Wow, a disturbance in graphs! A perturbation! A dissonance! How could this possibly be???!

And this, my friends, is where politics intersect with the world of technology. Oh, no, how could the people of that city vote against the popular opinion????! How could they choose the unpopular logo/person? Aaaaaargh! They disobeyed propaganda and marketing! More importantly, they disobeyed a TREND!!! They disobeyed fashion!
This only proves that, just like in politics, it’s not about what’s good anymore, or even about what your opinion is. It’s all about the marketing, propaganda (um, “product placement”), the BS and even social coercion. Many years ago, before the iPhone was made and before Facebook was popular, some teenage boy had a Myspace profile saying something like “Here. It’s called an iPod. If you don’t have one, GTFO.” Or some invective like that.

Now don’t get me wrong, everybody does use this marketing strategy. Because, of course, it’s a popular tactic! And whatever’s popular is the best. Don’t high-school kids all want to be popular?
Apple says buy this because it’s new (there’s always a newer version!) and simply the best. HTC and Samsung both say buy this because it’s all you want, for a fraction of the price. Well, actually Samsung is becoming the new Apple, now it’s all about getting one of their smartphones because it’s different but still trendy and shiny and fashionable, without the “mainstream” stamp you get from having some Apple device.
Blackberry says buy this because it’s serious business, just like you are. Nokia says buy this because it’s an actually functional phone with extra features on the side, but at least it works great as a phone. I’m getting the feeling that Sony says buy this and shut up, but I’m not sure. They certainly used to do that.

Besides, when people talk about a game, they think of a mobile phone game, or maybe made for a tablet. They have to play something, of course, casual, on the subway ride to work. They can’t possibly stand their own selves for an hour.

As a conclusion, we must all be the same and obey trends or whatever’s deemed fashionable. These must be our strictest law. We only get some sort of vote between a few popular options, if more than one thing is popular. If only one thing’s popular, that must absolutely be the choice.
And why? Because it satisfies all the cliches that mark you as a hip, fashionable, trendy person. And those, mathematically added, guarantee social success. Which is what you should be seeking, to stroke your ego and gain power over others.

I don’t know, but it sounds like being a consumer nowadays translates into a person in dire need of a psychiatric consult!

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Man and machine http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/man-and-machine/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/man-and-machine/#respond Mon, 28 May 2012 00:32:56 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=346 There are people. And there are computers. And inevitably, computer games, or videogames. Some videogames are made with a dirty mind. With a metal music fan’s mind. In other words, with a maniac’s mind. We call them metallers. Should you try to play such a game, it may be a fun experience against another human […]

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There are people. And there are computers. And inevitably, computer games, or videogames.

Some videogames are made with a dirty mind. With a metal music fan’s mind. In other words, with a maniac’s mind. We call them metallers.

Should you try to play such a game, it may be a fun experience against another human player. Well, unless he/she is also a maniac, in which case they will keep winning and just defeat the whole ‘fun’ part of gaming: actually not knowing who is going to win.
For some deep reason, people seem to be hard wired to seek trophies. Of any kind. They all want to be the best. Some, desperately. The point is to win, stand out, be different. And since that is the ultimate purpose, the means of getting there don’t matter. No matter how badly you cheat, it only matters that you shine on the highest step of the podium. Which is why you get all sorts of “cardboard celebrities” today, who aren’t remarkable in any way except that they did something stupid but popular. The kind of people that will always love shortcuts to fame, money or whatever it is they seek. And which is why Apple exist in its’ current form. But I digress.

Every once in a while, people would release a game that was seemingly impossible to beat. I remember trying to play some incarnation of Pong and getting a thorough beating from the computer. Maybe that’s why massive multiplayer online games, dubbed MMO, spawning the sub-genre MMORPG, popped up – you would only play against people so that you can actually become the best and no pesky artificial intelligence algorithm is gonna get in your way. But I digress again.

One such nasty-AI game was, and still is, Arcade Volleyball. It’s probably a safe bet that only God knows who wrote the game and who found it first, or where.
Well, beating the computer player at AV was apparently just a legend, as with other games. But now, hi-resolution footage of a human player beating the computer player have emerged. Sources indicate that the human player is actually Stimpson, fellow editor at Tech Geriatrix!


What does “AV kummuya winning” mean? AV as in Arcade Volleyball, kummuya… well, you wouldn’t be able to get the joke, really, because it’s not in English, nor meant to be. And winning is, of course, Mr. Charlie Sheen, Carlos Estevez’ trademark expression.
One good thing about this game is that we finally know where humanity got the inspiration for referee whistles. Those completely analog, acoustic sound emitters are merely trying to imitate the sound from Arcade Volleyball, when someone scores a point (the other sound is the ‘light’ version). Stimpson describes the sound as one of the most irritating sounds in the known universe. He sees it like a fine that you have to pay for losing a point, a fine that you get in a way so condescending that you couldn’t even imagine it. That sounds automatically tells you that you’re weak, that you suck, that you fail so badly.
Yes, indeed, it’s probable that the average referee whistle is merely trying to mimic that sound.

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People can’t even let Mr. Steve Jobs be buried peacefully http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/all-and-everything/people-cant-even-let-mr-steve-jobs-be-buried-peacefully/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/all-and-everything/people-cant-even-let-mr-steve-jobs-be-buried-peacefully/#respond Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:27:06 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=179 Okay, this is not an article related to Apple or their former CEO. The passing away of Mr. Steve Jobs already became a saga, somewhat expectedly. Each moment that passed afterwards was monitored and commented everywhere on the internet. Now, when he is meant to be buried, people still try to use him to score […]

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Okay, this is not an article related to Apple or their former CEO. The passing away of Mr. Steve Jobs already became a saga, somewhat expectedly. Each moment that passed afterwards was monitored and commented everywhere on the internet. Now, when he is meant to be buried, people still try to use him to score some popularity.

I personally think that most people posting how the world has lost a genius were only trying to score some attention for their own selves, or saying that kind of things in order not to fall out of line. There are also those who truly feel sorry that he died.

Well, I thought there would be trolls here as well. Actually I kinda half-thought about it. I assumed that no one would dare be the evil one and say oh, it’s a good thing he died, for whatever reason. No one would dare do that, I thought, because he was so popular and the products he designed are regarded as very successful.
Trolls insist on existing, though. I stumbled upon this news piece:

http://news.yahoo.com/church-hate-picket-steve-jobss-funeral-164900649.html

This is downright stupid, I thought. I mean, hating is really not the way to do anything. Whatever one’s opinions are, hate should be out of the question at all times.
But no. These people say they are doing this as a way to condemn them for “teaching sin to others.” Wow. So it’s a sin to own an Apple device, apparently. Because that’s what Apple does: sells devices.
However, Yahoo! points out that the message was sent via Twitter for iPhone. Oh, that’s so cute and hypocritical. But wait! People said that to the lady who posted that the former CEO taught sin. She replied that it was God who created the iPhone and not Jobs. So…God taught Apple users sin by way of Mr. Jobs’ personality?! You have got to be kidding me. Oh, sure, you could say that Apple devices provide the temptation to grow attached to technology, you could say that their technology grows your laziness bigger and bigger, but Apple teaches sin?! Wait, no, actually, the Apple CEO teaches sin?! This is a good one.

But there’s more. Their group, called Westboro Baptist Church, picketed the funerals of US soldiers who have fallen in battle. The reason? They are supposedly trying to warn people to “flee the wrath of God’s destruction.” Eeeeew. As if soldiers go into battle because one day, they decide to kill some people. As if they don’t go there because they are ordered to, instead they’re supposedly enjoying it. Mr. John McCain said, during the US presidential race of 2008, that he visited the areas where the US had troops, more specifically Iraq, and the soldiers there told him that they don’t want their kids to go there and so, they should stay there for as long as needed, to solve the problem. He said that because his presidential plan was to solve the Iraq problem for good and then get the US troops out of there.
So, blaming the soldiers for wars tells a long story about how some people are divorced from reality.

But there’s more. These people, when they show up at some funeral or whatever event they feel like picketing, carry signs reading “God Hates You” and another sign that Yahoo! didn’t quote entirely, for obvious reasons: “God Hates Fags.” Oh, I’m pretty sure that’s what Christianity teaches people: God hates whoever doesn’t act like these people decide it’s morally acceptable to. Did Jesus say or imply this? I heard he was all about love and acceptance.
They say that one holy attribute of God is his hatred. This is a gem. Consider this: God, all perfect, all mighty, all powerful, capable of boundless love, but… he hates you. Well, only if these guys think you’re wrong, that is.
They might mean that the heavens are about justice, but just like virtually everyone on the planet today, they exaggerate things to the point where they become ridiculous. The latest target they found, it seems, is the former CEO of a company selling electronic gadgets. As if people ever were forced to buy them, or as if they never had any alternative.

There’s yet more. On their Wikipedia page, their views on others are detailed!
So, Catholics are vampires because they supposedly suck semen out of male boys. And they rape children. So, the entire Catholic priesthood molests children and they are also all vampires.
Both Catholics and Eastern Orthodox Christians are wrong because they venerate the Virgin Mary and saints and that is idolatry. Okay, that probably means that the saints didn’t do anything exceptional and were not better people. They were probably chosen as saints in some contest, possibly named Christians have Talent.
They say Mary was just an average human chosen to give birth to Jesus and nothing more. Funny, I heard she left this world by flying up to the sky, with her human body and all that. Pretty sure I haven’t heard of other average humans do that.
Their main problem with the Eastern Orthodox Church is that these people venerate icons. Seriously, I live in a mainly Orthodox country. I know the answer to that since I was in the 5th grade. And I’m not a Christian, either. Christians don’t worship the icon, instead the icon is a representation of the saint in question. Their heart prays to the saint. And this is the widely known explanation. A less-known explanation is that icons are usually enchanted by the saint in question anyway.

What got my eye is their view about India. They say that God hates India. Aside from that being ridiculously wrong, the really fun part is why they think so. It’s because 80% of Indians practice Hinduism and that’s not Christianity, so it’s idolatry, they worship false gods. That, in turn, inevitably results in a country full of fags and fag-enablers!
They probably need to see shrinks, each of them.

Or maybe there’s another explanation. Maybe, just maybe, they are scared out of their minds. Yes, the surrounding society is a scary place. Everyone tends to be greedy, to not think about the next guy, to dismiss family values and only consider sexual pleasure, to seek any kind of substance that might produce pleasant sensations, to become attached to electronic devices and even to socialize from behind a computer screen – the perfect hideout for the anti-social man who does feel the need to reach out to other fellow human beings, or even for the people with massive egos who always have to show how great they think they are.
Yes, these people might be so unbelievably scared of all those, that they maintain an airtight community where none of that happens and are unbelievably aggressive to the “outside world” because they think other people can’t control their selves properly.

Or maybe, just maybe they’re attention-whoring egomaniacs, who love to read articles written about them and TV news pieces done about them, because the more media coverage they get, the more chances there are of their little community never ceasing to exist and growing and growing until someday, maybe they dream of becoming the predominant religion in the world and the members of their community from today would be as powerful as the Vatican is. Who knows.

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Updated: Hypocrisy, manipulation and even lies surround the passing away of Mr. Steve Jobs http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/all-and-everything/hypocrisy-manipulation-and-even-lies-surround-the-passing-away-of-mr-steve-jobs/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/all-and-everything/hypocrisy-manipulation-and-even-lies-surround-the-passing-away-of-mr-steve-jobs/#respond Thu, 06 Oct 2011 08:17:04 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=166 By now everyone knows Mr. Jobs passed away. Of course, just like with his stepping down from the position of Apple CEO, everybody and their grandmas had to “report” it anywhere – blogs, Facebook profiles, Twitter, anything – because they are all attention whores. But you kinda get used to that. What is annoying is […]

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By now everyone knows Mr. Jobs passed away.

Of course, just like with his stepping down from the position of Apple CEO, everybody and their grandmas had to “report” it anywhere – blogs, Facebook profiles, Twitter, anything – because they are all attention whores. But you kinda get used to that. What is annoying is that they all try to say good things about him, no matter what.
When I logged out of Yahoo! Mail, five out of seven news titles were about Mr. Steve Jobs’ death. “Memorable moments from Steve Jobs’ life – VIDEO GALLERY.” “STEVE JOBS DIED, the cofounder of Apple | VIDEO.” “The story of the life of Steve Jobs.” “Steve Jobs died! Ten things less known about the Apple genius.” (these last two belong to the same newspaper’s website) “Steve Jobs died, the parent of Apple.” “VIDEO: An interview from 2003 with Steve Jobs. «My business model are the guys from Beatles».”

You know what Yahoo! said? Direct quote: “Jobs co-founded Apple Computer in 1976 and, with his childhood friend Steve Wozniak, marketed what was considered the world’s first personal computer, the Apple II.”
That’s simply not true. It was the THIRD, 3rd, number three personal computer. Oh, it might have been the most popular of the first personal computers ever sold. Mr. Steve Jobs said it himself that they were trying to get a computer suited to their needs and tastes. If it had been available for sale, they wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Valid point. There was a hole in the market that they saw and filled, but starting with their own needs. No problem with that.
But saying that it was “what was considered” the first personal computer is not true. Before that, the Commodore PET from 1977 was a computer sold in large numbers and after it, the Radio Shack TRS-80. The Apple II followed those two. But Radio Shack isn’t that popular (and I don’t think they make computers anymore), Commodore doesn’t exist as a company anymore, so their attention-whoring tactics simply demanded that they write about something more popular. It doesn’t matter that Commodore was a hugely popular company and their products still are popular to a degree (hint: look for the name Amiga).
Furthermore, Apple’s first product was the Apple I computer. These were the things that the two Apple founders were trying to get and couldn’t, at the time. So they made them and then they started to sell them. But these couldn’t really be considered personal computers, they were more like “homebrew” computers because they were made by Mr. Wozniak and then sold (he was reportedly the only person who could provide customer support, too). Users had to make a case, power supply and power switch and also get a keyboard and a display for them. And of course there were other such homebrews available, but this one was innovative because it was so simple to get started with.

Of course, they approached Mr. Steve Wozniak for a statement regarding the matter. He told them, and I quote again, “I’m shocked and disturbed.” Call me paranoid, but I think he meant he needs some time alone with himself, or at least away from public attention, like the press is. Of course, he couldn’t simply tell them that. Nearly nothing in America is straightforward anymore, everything is a manipulation or somehow a distortion of reality. People also expect others to behave that way. So of course he had to say it in such a way.

At my workplace, not everyone knew about Mr. Jobs passing away. Because they don’t care much about news websites and haven’t visited anything other than their e-mails. So other guys told them and they had a little chat about it.
First, they hit one nail directly on the head by saying “oh man, he died just at the right time” – of course, they were trying to say that this will definitely boost the sales of the iPhone 4S, hinting at people who were really expecting the iPhone 5 and suggesting that his passing away will boost the sales of the new shiny, overpriced toy from Apple.
Then they took the jokes one step further and said that Apple has actually been keeping him in alcohol or formalin since whenever he actually died, and only released the news today, along with jokes like the mortician saying “he looks kinda green, are you sure he died today?!” Then they added “imagine a commemorative version of the iPhone, with his picture on it? I think it would sell like the hottest stuff.” Remember, these are people doing small talk, far away from the United States.
Thankfully, Apple has maintained a very decent stance after the news of his passing. Of course, they released a statement saying how they lost a visionary, a leader, a genius and so on. Yeah, they had to do that. Because he has been associated with the company in the recent years and they mostly owe their growth to him, in the public’s opinion. Saying anything, even remotely hinting at some kind of not being fully sorry, hurt or even desperate that Mr. Jobs is no longer between us, would be interpreted as distancing the company from its previous leader. And that would hurt stocks (the event triggered a slight drop in stocks anyway) because, again, nearly nothing in America escapes interpretation, misinterpretation, but most of all, sheer exaggeration. They posted a decent, neutral-looking picture of the former CEO on their webpage and the years marking his birth and death. But now we know what it would be like if anybody tried to sell the man’s image for an extra post-mortem buck. It doesn’t have to be Apple, it can be a company selling iPhone 4 protective casings or anyone like that. Oh, buy the commemorative cases with your hero/favorite entrepreneur/genius Steve Jobs’ picture on them!

So, everyone tries to get attention and maybe even score some money out of the passing on of a famous person. It was like that with Mr. Michael Jackson as well, if you remember. What I think, and also hope, is that some people are actually genuinely sorry that he’s not here anymore.
That would be one sign of humanity. But believe it or not, the best wishes for him are not being sorry that he died. Of course, you absolutely have to feel for a lady who has become widowed and the children who have lost their father (and of course, for his other family members who have lost him), just like with the passing of Mr. Steve Irwin. But if you felt sorry for Mr. Jobs the individual person, don’t.
Because he’s in Heaven? Yes, you could say that. I don’t think he is, at least not yet, but you’d be on to something there. He is hopefully reincarnating as another person now, somewhere else on our planet. Hopefully as a future monk or as a future hermit, or as a future spiritual cultivator, anyway. We’re not here to become rich or live a good life, which is why these “devices that make our lives easier” and that I call useless and overpriced pieces of plastic, glass and stainless steel, should matter much less or maybe not at all. They still have their mission – providing the temptation, the wrong choice, in this world of illusion, where we can’t see the truth clearly. We’re here because we weren’t good anymore. This world is where we ended up, and we’re only here to go back. Like Jesus did, but he also came with a mission to save others from this world and take them along, “up there.”
So Mr. Jobs could be doing very well, from a spiritual point of view, right now. Which is why we could actually be quite happy for him. But people are attached to the human form, the shape they could see and touch and listen to.

So, I will sum up by saying that I genuinely hope Mr. Steve Jobs manages to do what he’s supposed to do, and then get back “up there,” where he belongs in the first place.

Update: This is what the reaction of a person who genuinely feels sorry that the guy is gone, looks like:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/goopymart/6215679357/in/photostream

It just kinda takes things as they were. I found the picture in another place on the web, but I wanted to link to the original source.

2nd update: I really, really enjoyed The Onion’s take on the matter:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/last-american-who-knew-what-the-fuck-he-was-doing,26268/

3rd update: Ah, it seems all this is starting to irritate other people as well.

http://9gag.com/gag/326805

Stimpson says that if Mr. Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo, a Finnish gentleman from Nokia, dies (of course, we sincerely hope not!), nobody’s going to know or give a darn. Same for the president of HTC, a gentleman who is apparently named Peter H. T. Chou. I could probably Google a name from Blackberry easily. Why would people not care about these other persons? Because they’re not pop culture icons, which is who the masses really care about. And they care about popular people because they want to become popular themselves, which means such a person is watching celebrities to mimic their lifestyles and so that maybe they will find a trick to one day become famous as well. We both think that is simply sad.
That’s the whole point of this article – popularity shouldn’t control the level of sorrow one feels for other people. Popularity shouldn’t matter more than it’s normal. Like, take Mr. Barrack Obama – of course he’s famous, he’s the President of the United States of America. But he doesn’t look like he’s trying to become more and more famous, at least not to me. We didn’t hate Mr. Jobs, which is why I called him Mister all the time. We don’t hate Apple, because that would be just stupid.
But we can’t possibly agree that we should be so sorry about the loss of Mr. Jobs when, just like the 9gag person said, there are so many scientists who made lives easier and heroes, who died and nobody cared about. And we could have. We can pay attention to everybody else on the planet, but we have to start with ourselves and the ones around us. Be aware of our surroundings and not sleepwalk through life, know what we are doing in every moment of our existences. That way, one can become a better person. This, I believe, is what Mr. Jobs meant when he said, in his legendary 2005 Stanford commencement address, that we should live every day like it would be the last. And yes, that speech does deserve to be called legendary, in my opinion, just like Mr. Chris Sacca’s May 2011 graduation speech at Carlson, Minnesota. But again, Mr. Sacca is not as famous as Mr. Jobs, even though he does amazing things. One could argue that Mr. Jobs was good at marketing what he made. Well, maybe, but should that really matter? Are people actually buying only what’s advertised more?
Take another example, even easier to picture this time. Take Mr. Steve Wozniak. Suppose he passed on – and again, God help us, we don’t want any harm to happen to him. Would people be that touched by the event? I get the feeling some people are more fond of him than they were fond of Mr. Jobs, but these people would certainly be a minority. And the hypocrites would be really easy to spot, when posting status updates about how they’d be sorry about a man who they weren’t exactly watching.
Last example. I tried to understand why some people are genuinely sorry about the loss of Mr. Jobs. I actually lost a friend because I wrote this article, a friend who really feels sorry about the man. So I thought maybe Mr. Jobs was a local hero, in North America. Both of us writing on this website enjoyed playing id Software games like Wolfenstein, Doom, Quake, etc. So, I tried to think, maybe it would be the same to us if Mr. John Carmack, the man who did the programming behind those great videogames, passed away. To which Stimpson said nope, he wouldn’t be that affected. I looked inside and found that I wouldn’t, either. We both still think the man did such uber-cool things with those games.
So it’s a question of proximity. It has to be. I’m curious if anyone in Japan is so genuinely sorry about Mr. Jobs. Or from the Hawaii islands, which are U.S. territory. Or even residents from the American state of Alaska. People were probably much closer to his physical presence around there and may have felt he is a hero because he made their lives easier and smoother. Sure, if you look on the net, everybody says RIP Steve Jobs, or other words like that, but the point I was trying to make is that the vast majority of those people simply try to grab others’ attention and this is just another opportunity. They don’t really feel remorse and this piece was about them and their nasty habit, but it’s clear that there are some people who do feel truly sorry.

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The little computer shop on the corner http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/rants/the-little-computer-shop-on-the-corner/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/rants/the-little-computer-shop-on-the-corner/#respond Tue, 04 Oct 2011 09:38:55 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=102 These shops are supposed to make it easier for people to get equipment and software, right? Wrong. These shops are meant to crush any out-of-line ideas you might have about computers and program you with their own ideas. If you don’t like it, go to hell. We only serve serious customers here. Who listen to […]

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These shops are supposed to make it easier for people to get equipment and software, right?

Wrong.

These shops are meant to crush any out-of-line ideas you might have about computers and program you with their own ideas. If you don’t like it, go to hell. We only serve serious customers here. Who listen to our expert fat, lazy, badly informed, frustrated geek opinions without twitching.
To elaborate: the computer shop on the corner only sell what sells fast. What you “can’t keep on the shelf.” Because they have to buy products in order to have stocks. That employs a certain risk: they could buy something that won’t sell for months. That’s what they call a bad decision, because they already paid for it, but can’t profit from it because it hasn’t been sold yet. And rent, electricity bills, taxes or salaries don’t wait for products to be sold.
So, these corner shops are furiously market-oriented. Whatever they think people want, but most of all, whatever the masses think they want, that’s what these shops sell. People might want a particular model of whatever product, like a pair of good-quality and decently priced speakers, or a category of products, like DDR2 SDRAM. They constantly try to guess what to buy so that, in a nanosecond after bringing the product to the shelf, someone is waiting at the counter to buy it.
Thus, if you go into such a store asking to buy a stick of EDO RAM, they will probably ask what in the world that is. Even though EDO RAM sticks exist, brand-new. Because they are still being made. Or maybe they know what it is and sometimes they might even admit that there is a demand, but if it’s too small, they don’t care. They don’t “keep their money blocked in that kind of merchandise that doesn’t sell” – someone told me that I was the second guy in a year who asked for a certain kind of video cable.
With some stores, don’t even try to ask for DDR1 – for them, it’s ancient, because it has been faded out starting with 2003, when DDR2 was released. We’re in 2011, you should upgrade your computer! It doesn’t matter that you’re only helping out some old lady and looking for parts to upgrade her computer. Their assumptions are the only kind of reasoning that matters. Or exists on the planet, for that matter. And their assumption is that you’re buying things for yourself. Thus, how can you use such old crap today?! You should definitely upgrade! Like they’re not selling mere products, they’re also imposing their own assumptions and conclusions about computer architecture.
Okay, so let’s say you played into their bullshit, greedy way of tricking you into buying more than you actually need. What new computer would they offer?
That’s an easy answer. If you say you don’t need much, it’s gonna be an Intel i3-powered computer with a low-end video card and not enough RAM. If you say you need some power, they’re gonna offer an AMD quad-core system with a crap video card and not enough RAM. If you insist that you need more RAM or a more decent video card or both, they’re gonna point towards what they offer as premium. There are two ways of being an asshole here.
First, they can offer mid-high range cards as the premiums, adding more to the price. Like if the Radeon HD 4000 series was the latest, they would offer you a 4670 as the premium-est of them all. Or a 4850.
Second, they can offer all the cards at normal prices, but advertise the top of the line model as the best thing to get, and add a lot more to the price. This can also go in reverse – they advertise that they sell the top of the line model for just this much, indeed less than the competition, but raise the prices for everything else including the lowest-end models.
Of course, they can also do any combination of the above. And what’s more, they can be even worse when they’re an online store – they don’t update their stock on the website, they process your order after a long time or only after you call them even though you had already ordered (with the excuse that they are having a lot of orders), etc.

So if you want to upgrade a high-end computer from before (like a socket 478 Pentium 4 at 3.4 GHz with HyperThreading, the top of the line processor at the time), you have to throw it away and get a mediocre one from nowadays. Even if you do get an i3, they won’t sell you the top of the line model. Same for an AMD quad core system. They only care that you should have an insufficient computer all the time, so that you keep buying parts from them. They care about keeping their own business running, not providing real service to customers. Some wise business people say that they would happily go out of business when the problem they solve finally disappears. I remember a medical company doing surgical interventions on babies born with a badly-looking and probably uncomfortable birth defect, although not a really dangerous one. One of the medics working there, the owner of the company, said he’d be happy to go out of business because a drug preventing that condition has been developed, to be taken by the pregnant mothers.
Yeah, that’s the spirit. Solving a problem doesn’t mean you should protect the problem.

So, to anyone who wants to upgrade an older computer without headaches, your answer is Ebay. Well, sure, buying from Ebay also has some risks, but you must not be lazy and look at the ratings given to that seller by other buyers. You’ll be able to tell if they are serious or not, on your own. You’ll get the exact item you want and not what they “suggest” that you get. Even if you’re ordering from that seriously evil, communist country called the People’s Republic of China, there are many people inside it who are benign, serious about their work and want to make a living selling things for cheap. As a tip, they will sometimes say they live in Hong Kong or even use a Hong Kong identity on Ebay. Usually the package will have a Chinese address on it.
Of course, the people who know squat about computers should go into the corner shop computer store, or even an Apple store, and buy whatever box labeled computer they see first. I’m talking about users who know how to assemble, debug and upgrade a computer system on their own.

Go even further. Even when you need something that’s easy to find because all the shops have it in stock, don’t buy from the corner, unless they are kind people – I’m not saying all the computer shops are evil, of course. Pick an online store with low prices, or at least an online store that carries a wide range of products – that kind of people usually cares about solving people’s problems.
Don’t feed those assholes. They’re like the trolls on forums – frustrated, no life, overgrown egos, over-opinionated, could care less about others.

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15 Minutes Alone. With an iPad. http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/15-minutes-alone-with-an-ipad/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/15-minutes-alone-with-an-ipad/#respond Sat, 01 Oct 2011 21:52:44 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=136 I’m alone, in my office. I have some bugs to fix. Many bugs. And today, the planets have aligned to give me the most annoying things to do, on purpose. I have to take a break, so I go to the living room, for a short walk. The company I work for runs in a […]

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I’m alone, in my office. I have some bugs to fix. Many bugs. And today, the planets have aligned to give me the most annoying things to do, on purpose. I have to take a break, so I go to the living room, for a short walk. The company I work for runs in a rented apartment, yes. A big one.

My mind is blank, I think about nothing, I want nothing.

In the living room, there is another desk, which is operated by a colleague who is sort of an Apple Man. He’s got an iPad, an iPad 2, an iPhone and some kind of Mac thing. Book, Air, iWhatever, iDunno.
– Hi. Wassup?
– Nothin’…
– What’s that?
– Oh, that’s my other iPad.
– First or second gen?
– First…
– Can I?
– Sure…

I pick up the black, folded case and sit on the couch. Slide to unlock. I know this trick, I was an iPhone 4 user for a brief period of time. A big iPhone screen welcomes me. Like opening a book… Why is it bigger? Whatever…

– Did you buy all these apps?
– No, it’s jailbroken. I keep my new iPad 2 locked and use this one to try the stuff before buying it, says Apple Man.
– Oh…
Apple Man is a good guy, but kinda flat. It doesn’t bother me whatsoever, we get along in a civilized manner…

I see a crosswords application. I like crosswords, so I open it immediately. Three taps and a drag and I’m already solving it. After mixing up some vocabulary, I get bored. I want something else. I push the only button in front and I’m teleported back to the main screen, instantly.

I see a Garage Band application. Sounds cool… I tap. Seconds later, I’m in. What took you so long? It takes a while to find my way arond this app. I choose a guitar, a drum… Play. Wow, that’s cool. I choose another instrument. I’m confused, this app is kind of slow and I’m not sure my taps are acknowledged.
– This Garage Band app sure takes up all the juice!
– It runs a lot better on my iPad 2, says Apple Man.
– Oh…
Tap, tap, drag. I’m on the Home screen again. What the heck?
– I think it crashed.
– It happens…

I want Internet. I open Safari. Big screen, big keyboard, easy to type. I go to some website, tap, wipe, exit. Enough Internet, I want something else.

I try to imagine what it’s made for. Or whom. It’s as big as a netbook and slightly less functional. You’ll need a bag, and a hand. Pretty cool, though. Battery lasts long…

I take my eyes off the screen for a blink. I’m alone. With an iPad.

I put it back in the case and rest it against Apple Man’s desk.
– That was interesting.
– Yeah…

I look through the window and stare into the colours. The iPad was cool. I want something else…

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Of Nokia and Man http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/of-nokia-and-man/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/opinions/of-nokia-and-man/#respond Sat, 01 Oct 2011 09:13:28 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=127 And thus we begin our saga into the legend of Nokia. Ancient stories about the new era. The story begins with a precious, old artefact. An exponent of the jurassic era of phones. Thirteen million years ago (OK, maybe not “million”…), a mighty mobilisaurus emerged from the silicon depths… The Nokia 6110! Of course, I […]

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And thus we begin our saga into the legend of Nokia. Ancient stories about the new era.

The story begins with a precious, old artefact. An exponent of the jurassic era of phones. Thirteen million years ago (OK, maybe not “million”…), a mighty mobilisaurus emerged from the silicon depths… The Nokia 6110! Of course, I had it used, not new, about 3 years later, as my second phone, the first one being a Bosch 509. My 6110 was pretty beaten up, and the battery was starting to give in, so I changed after about 2 years with a brand new Nokia 3510i! Basic brick, it calls people and stuff. After another 2 years or so, I got bored of it and changed it with a 6020. Which was super! I liked it, really. It was compact and the user interface was simple and snappy.

The next big hero was the Nokia 6300. This one looked like you could hammer nails with it. And use it as a self-defense weapon. The software was good, too. I was really getting used to Nokia’s trouble-free phones. I had a friend making mobile games for some company and he always told be about the high-end Nokias, such as the N95, which had two processors, and big screen, and graphics accelerator. Now THAT was something! I was into PC games at the time, so I really was after video cards, and spending that much on a phone with a graphics accelerator meant spending serious money, which I could use for trading a high-end computer graphics card. The mobile dev friend of mine proudly showed me some 3D games on the N95, and he said they were cool, but in fact, they were completely pointless. The input method was dismal, the screen was too small for playing 3D games, and the graphics were better suited at sanding wood. The purpose of 3D gaming on mobile phones was really to acknowledge the fact that they can do it. I really had no fun with that.

After owning the 6300 for 3 years, I found myself with some toy money. Oh joy, was I ever impacient! I started looking for a smartphone, since I never had one. I did not make that step because all smartphones were big boring bricks made of shiny plastic, or bad plastic, or plastic surgery. The software was complicated and slow, the battery was short lived, and in short, they brought more problems than they actually solved. So I must say that I was seduced by the shape and consistency of the Nokia N86. Solid slider, non-shiny plastic back (WOW!), and a front-facing scratch resistant glass (I know, you expected the most useless light sensor in the world, the front-facing camera!).

As you may have expected, I bought the N86. And in 3 days, I intended to sell it. And in two weeks, it was for sale. But nobody would buy it. Of course, I could sell it fast by cutting 40% of the price, but that did not feel very well! So I said, OK, maybe I should wait for some software updates.

The software was full of bugs. For example, the keyboard often refused to unlock, and the only option was a device coma. Yes, battery removal, although I did want to see the head management at Nokia go into a coma after I smack them in the interface while holding the N86. The N86 is sturdy, and heavy, and oh man, would they have needed medical attention! Then there was a very special application that everybody needed, “Internet Radio”. The application crashed after exactly 13 seconds of running, I still think it was a prank from Nokia. Some underpaid programmer must have had a lot of fun developing that application. Of course, the crash was fixed with later software updates, but still, that was really funny! I paid a lot for that fun, and for some reason, I was not laughing…

There were some other issues like battery going suddenly flat after having 5 bars of charge seconds earlier. Or device restarting, or video recording hang, or camera sensor still consuming one watt of power after closing the camera application. It was such a special feeling to wake up in the morning, see the Sun shining and find the phone dead. Then you think about sending it for repairs, but an Angel tells you to charge it, maybe the battery is flat. After having almost full charge in the evening before, that is…

After 8 months or so, Nokia rolled the final software update for a device that could have been an original Nokia hit. No, it was not the outdated user interface that killed the N86. It was the poor implementation of basic things. Look, I don’t care about smooth scrolling and visual effects. I want basic stuff to work. I want software to work, I want programs to work, I want phone calls to work, I want camera to work, even if it takes ages to start. I am a pacient man, I can wait.

A basic software which works is called “solid simplicity”. That’s what I like. A basic software that crashes is called “crippled” and I hate it (obviously…). The N86 could have been a great device, but no, they had to roll out a poorly made, poorly tested and overpriced device. And probably the Finnish managers and head of Whatevery division got their big payment checks checked, as they checked all the features on the list. They were checked, but not the way they should have been.

The N86, like all Nokia smartphones which followed, were a checklist of features made up by a company which made no sense. They brought absolutely no innovation, no reliability, they were just another iPhone chasing device army, made in China.

I will go into the iPhone case in another article, I’m not praising Apple here. I’m very, very far from being an Apple fan. But Apple hit it with the iPhone by inventing that touchscreen interface, which sold in millions. The rest of the mobile world was absolutely incapable of bringing anything new. Nothing, zero. They still chase the iPhone. And this is a pity, because the current line-up of Nokias featuring buttons is pretty neat. The C5 has the same OS as the N86, but at least it’s fairly priced, and works properly. The E72 was also good, the E6 features a QWERTY keyboard plus a touchscreen. I don’t know how useful a 2.46″ touchscreen is, but at least it doesn’t cost a fortune.

Everybody now has capacitive touchscreen and iPhone-like interface, iPhone-like gestures, and iPhone-like looks. It’s so sad to see Nokia crawl into making a touchscreen interface, in a very pathetic way. If the N86 was fairly usable with buttons, the touchscreen Nokias are a pain to use. Starting with the 5800XM (yeah, great phone my ass…) and finishing with the N8. I go into the N9 a bit later…

The touchscreen Nokias are lauched with bugs, like every Nokia smartphone to date. Including N95 and N7x and other former Nokia heroes. With annoying usability bugs, not just “minor” bugs. I tried to do some browsing on a Nokia C7, which is very similar to the N8 in terms of specs, it only differs by camera and aluminum body, and maybe other minor things. The browser is useless, that touch interface is such a bad iPhone chaser. These phones have nothing new, no identity, just a Nokia badge in the upper part which doubles their price. Oh, and did I mention that the processor and RAM are two years behind? What? What did you say? Power efficency? Oh, Nokia puts outdated processors into their high end devices because they consume less power. Right. And the battery dies within two days, like any other smartphone…

In 2007, when the iPhone was launched, Nokia had the N95. And they kept the button interface for a year and a half, when they rolled the 5800XM. It was not Nokia’s first touchscreen smartphone, it was Nokia’s first iPhone chasing device. But they had a pride in their smartphone sliders. And now, with the N9, they roll out the first buttonless device, all touch and tap! And you know what? It features “swipe”? Swhat? Swipe! You just have to remember which way you “swipe” for the various things that you want to do…

Ummm… I think the “swipe” was invented in 2007, when iPhone was launched… But anyway, I do not want to emphasize what great device the iPhone was, because it wasn’t. The touchscreen interface was, the rest of the iPhone was useless, buggy and restrictive.

How can you come up-front, as a big company, in 2011, with a high-end, top of the line smartphone, featuring “swipe”? Is that how behind you are in the iPhone chase? Because behind you are with almost everything in that N9 phone: processor is last year’s iPhone 4 chipset, the screen is an outdated AMOLED, since Samsung had Super-AMOLED like a year ago, the camera is nothing new (I really hope the sensor has a super-high, alien tech quality!). So, what does the N9 bring? Is it the closest to iPhone-like intention Nokia? Maybe… Is it the first decently usable Nokia touchscreen smartphone? I sure hope so! They want to be iPhone so badly that they even made the battery non-user-removable and they stuck a micro-SIM slot into the N9! That’s how much of an iPhone chaser Nokia is!

I personally say goodbye to a company that lost its touch, inventiveness and identity in building high end smartphones. Brands are built with hard work, not badges. I’m sorry to say it, but 2 years ago, when I looked at the Nokia badge, I saw dedicated guys that made devices which WORKED and did not care about eye-candy garments. I appreciate a solid, snappy device, which does not look very special, but gets a things done. The same goes for software. But I do not appreciate companies which sell their names with overprice tags so that I assume they’re top brands.

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For once, I agree with Mr. Steve Jobs http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/all-and-everything/for-once-i-agree-with-mr-steve-jobs/ http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/all-and-everything/for-once-i-agree-with-mr-steve-jobs/#respond Thu, 15 Sep 2011 17:08:18 +0000 http://lousyprint.eu/techgeriatrix/?p=106 I don’t hate Apple. That would be a very stupid thing to do. I don’t even hate their users. I think that the users are either ignorant, too easily distracted by shallow things or plain computer-illiterate. There are very few people who get Apple things because of a specific, well detailed reason. So when I […]

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I don’t hate Apple. That would be a very stupid thing to do. I don’t even hate their users. I think that the users are either ignorant, too easily distracted by shallow things or plain computer-illiterate. There are very few people who get Apple things because of a specific, well detailed reason.
So when I heard that Mr. Jobs is stepping down as CEO of Apple I didn’t even twitch. Okay, whatever. No nihilist joy that they’re finally going down, no sadness because, as Apple or Jobs fanboys put it, “as a great entrepreneur you will forever remain in our memories and inspire us every step of our lives” or other gratuitous nonsense like that, probably uttered in the hope of getting noticed.
On that note, the first thing I noticed: everyone was hurrying to state something. To make a statement. An assertion.
Let’s face it, the farther you go from the “civilized world,” (i.e. the Western world) the less people care about Apple products. As a friend of mine said, in South Africa the iPhone has less than 1% market share. Most of the market is ruled by Nokia, because they make mobile phones that are cheaper and useful for phonecalls and text messages. Maybe casual browsing, instant messaging and so on. “Trendy” smartphones appear to be made for obsessive browsing and only casual phone usage (case in point – when I spoke to someone who had the first iPhone model, I could barely hear them, but they were so psyched about surfing on their new toy).
But even so, people from the less “civilized” corners of the world were posting all sorts of messages on the Internet, as if a lot of people were anticipating their view of the matter.

Mr. Jobs seems to have stepped down due to health problems. Regardless of how much I dislike the company’s philosophy, I can’t possibly wish that a person gets sick or dies or things like that. I wish him a long life and good health.
That doesn’t mean I agree with him, of course. He’s famous for not registering his fast, slick Mercedes car at all. He’s easy to identify because his car doesn’t have license plates and the model is some very fast, AMG-tuned version of an already powerful Mercedes model. I read that the specific model he owns is the fastest Merc in America.
So you drive a fast and slick car, you wear supposedly hip clothing, you use what you claim are the trendiest, slickest devices in the world and you don’t have license plates on your car?! Furthermore, you own the company creating said devices. I mean, from such a position one would be expected to show some decency. This is basic respect for the place you live in, just like most people respect others enough to not poop on the pavement and instead hold it until they get to their own homes. I don’t think the airplane carrying the US presidents, the famous Air Force One, would ever take off with some bits of paint missing. In theory, every part of an airplane contributes to the safety of the flight. In theory, the license plates also contribute to the safety of your car ownership. The position of president of the USA and supposedly, that of Apple CEO as well, is an institution that is supposed to inspire respect, so it should be as exemplary as possible at all times.
On the other hand, Mr. Jobs is also famous for parking in handicapped parking spaces. I find that completely acceptable. First of all, he owns the parking lot, but it’s not just that. I don’t think there ever was a case when someone with a disability drove a car into Apple’s parking lot, asked Mr. Jobs to please remove his car from the handicapped parking space and he didn’t. Or forced an actual disabled person to remove their car from that parking space so that he could park there. Some can argue that it’s simply classy to respect the rules your own empire created, thus giving a positive example. Yeah, but we’re talking about exactly one exception. And again, I have yet to hear about him inconveniencing a driver with a disability, in regard to that parking spot.

Anyway, I generally have different views on the world when compared to Mr. Jobs. When stepping down, he named a certain Mr. Tim Cook to succeed him in the position of Apple CEO. To me, someone who wouldn’t get an Apple device except maybe a desktop or a much older Mac laptop from the ’90s (and would most probably install another operating system on each of them immediately afterwards), that is not important news. It’s news only because a person has medical problems, like the famous actor Michael Douglas also had.
So of course the rest of the piece of news, the name of his appointed successor, was equally uninteresting to me. Until I found this post, on a Reuters blog, of all places.
It says don’t ignore Mr. Cook’s sexuality. Huh? Oh, he’s a homosexual man. So? Well, as the author puts it, “this is something we can and should be celebrating, if only in the name of diversity — that a company which by some measures the largest and most important in the world is now being run by a gay man.”
Not only does the author, a Mr. Felix Salmon, says that, but he also points a finger at the world for criticizing another person who mentioned this detail about Mr. Cook in a tweet.
What’s delicious about the Reuters blog post is actually in the comments. The absolutely correct reaction to the entire blog post is given by a user named Kanapapa (I wish there was a permalink button in the comments, but I couldn’t find it) and right next, there’s another good comment by user KateSanford.
Another user, named net4u, points out the obvious root of the problem by asking why the sexuality of gays is so important that it needs to be reported and why his sexuality is not worthy of a report. Well, that’s a very old problem. The media is a business who needs to make money to survive. So they will rarely report something positive, because it doesn’t sell – try to think of an example of a positive news story and after you realize it’s impossible or at least very hard, know that all the media you have been consuming got you here. The rule of reporting is always freak, “different” stuff. A crane collapsed. A house caught fire. Some actress tripped and almost fell during an award ceremony. Then they took it to the next level. People don’t like it when unpleasant or embarrassing things happen to them, right? So why not hunt the famous people and take pictures or videos of them while such things happens to them? The readers or viewers will love to see others suffer. Why is that? It’s simple, people are more or less miserable in this world. Most people want to live comfortably, with plenty of resources and a happy family. Some people already do live comfortably, but they want luxury. Others can afford the basic human needs but have to think well before buying something not immediately useful to them. All of these people want more. That is a form of misery. And they kinda like seeing the misery of others, probably because it comforts them to know that the important or rich or famous people also have their own miserable moments. And since these categories of people make up the bulk of the human population, voila! There’s the tabloid industry and the never-ending supply of consumers for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the Reuters article is tabloid journalism. It kind of is because of the topic, but at least it’s not infected with lots of exclamation marks and the frequently encountered keywords like controversial, shocking and that whole arsenal. Instead, the far more dangerous culprit here is the liberal idea that one should advertise their different sexuality just because it is different and it would somehow be like a heavy vote towards some society that they dream of, I mean these liberal people. They probably dream of a world in which everyone can do everything that anybody else can do, without any restrictions. Of course, that dream is impossible today, because people are getting less and less responsible by the day. I shouldn’t be paying attention when I drive a car, I shouldn’t be a responsible driver, it’s the car that needs to safeguard me from dying a horrible death because I wasn’t paying attention to the actual driving. Today, people think you’re unconscious if you drive a car without airbags, ABS, ESP and all that. As if the decades of cars built without any of these features didn’t really exist. No, it’s easy, you had to pay attention to driving. It’s called being responsible.
Or maybe they want “bulletproof recipe” restrictions. That doesn’t work, either, because people are very creative and they get obsessive about pretty much anything very easy, so they will find a way around restrictions every time.
So the blog post actually sounds like it’s coming from a typically bored North American who valiantly battles for the rights of social groups subjected to discrimination and all that crap you end up doing if you have too much money and got bored with having kinda everything you want. I’m not going to go into the subject of whether you’re born a homosexual or you choose to become one, but I will say that I think the truth is in the middle. Some will say homosexuals are born that way and can’t do anything about it. Others will dismiss them as insults to nature, genetic freaks, gay just so that they can be different and arrogant or other offensive terms like that. Where’s the middle? Okay, try to think of why they’re born that way. I won’t say more.

The kicker is that one would expect Mr. Jobs to be avid for cliches and stereotypes and maybe proudly announce that his successor is a homosexual. Or maybe the two of them releasing a joint statement, or something like that. Because Apple is the apex of cliches in this world. Shiny, slim, rounded, “intuitive” and all that crap. So the way they handled this, completely ignoring the fact, is worthy of a pat on the back. They might make overpriced devices for ignorants, but at least they aren’t lame about this.

So, yes. I agree with Mr. Jobs for naming someone based completely on his skills, someone who doesn’t wave his sexuality around like it’s some sort of logo. That can only help the stereotyping. Instead of having the stereotype that gays are somehow inferior to others, society would simply morph it into another stereotype, that gays should scream their lungs out each second that they’re gay. Oh wait, that already happened. Instead of social pressure to be heterosexual, there is now social pressure to be widely open about it, or else you’re in the closet and that’s not good.

You know what I’d like to see? A member of the LGBT community, like they are already labeled and thus obviously stigmatized, who doesn’t give a single, solitary, flying intercourse about what others think and who shares his sexuality only when appropriate: in a conversation with a person, telling it to friends, never caring if people pass the word that you’re like that, etc. Someone who refuses to go to gay pride parades. That, I would think, is a free man, not defined by context but instead, underlined by it.

There you go, folks. In case there was any doubt, Apple products are gay. Completely regardless of their boss’s sexual preferences. Because they have always been that way.

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